Rant

Rant into mic. Confusion and distress,seeign what words are changed by the computer as it struggles with my accent. Making a shit situation more confusing. 

I am interested, and interested in things: comma. particularly now that makes it difficult to scribe a kind of feel like actually talking about it is part of my research trying to explain to new people what I’m thinking a bout at the moment and sometimes losing complete track of it and it disappearing and other times been able to hold onto it better and explain it to the person so that they understand I feel like this is part of some of the method of this as well it’s this part of the process so that’s quite interesting to me I have been able to explain and articulate what I’m thinking about which has been nice because I the reason that I want to to work on this sort of idea is that I’ve been in my head what lately and last year this year and year and year it just seems to be when it comes to creativity it’s something that is just living in my head local pet and it’s not something I will out the age much and it’s all of struggling their needs to get out and live not waste life and I find that when I have ideas so difficult to explain them or they’re too conceptual and don’t know how to sort of anchor there more tell them to the ground at the moment I’ve been thinking about this whole it’s just swimming around around your head as you know everything about the fact that I’ve not been at articulate thing the fact that I’m very visual person so things from it’s quite introspective and not as a stick as opposed or things are in my head and it’s difficult to explain them because it’s just, and when I feel overwhelmed I want to jump into, that sounds stupid but it feels right I’m trying to sort of unite the two things of what I imagine versus the reality I’m interested in whether other people have the same experience whether they are just a tangle of sensory so overblown and it’s just what come that your mouth is what is is taught that you should say it’s just a separate thing or whether you say like red instead of a word because it explains it better emotionally to you you know that sort of thing it’s a child breakdown language so it’s not as literal and not as descriptive and it’s not what we’re taught to say or it sound good because you may have read that in a sentence and but but would be more instinctual so I have been messing I did a lot of and avoid written about this but I’ve done so looking at the opposites to words and I am not really giving exact words talked about it but I looked song lyrics thing and played with those and I would wake up and I would write about the dream I just had even if I couldn’t really expect because that is something I’m trying to capture as well is that a ephemeral sort of quality of a dream that is so real and even though you had it for liken fully wake up and it’s super quick process it’s not something that you may have dreamt of a whole lifetime like episode in adventure Time we mix a Pellow Fulcher foot pillow fort and he has a whole life and wife and a series of experiences in another world and that he considers his new world we could never escape to make peace with live there forever and then it turns out that it is some sleep in a pillow for and it’s it’s crazy it’s like a book about when a guy is being it’s just that we honk and imagines entire scenario within the second and of being the net

the noose around his neck and when hit let go the plank between that and death imagines a completely different thing because his brains are musical in survival mode is in bed and is creating a different reality and to hold epic thing none of it really happened all happened in a few seconds in his imagination and it’s that powerful me everything my reality is just what my brain perceives to be real there is no real social same as reality and if there is it’s not

themselves and not around anything else everything separate and has its own rules and laws so maybe not an my mention that now and you were a dream is very interesting as a dream is wake up and you can’t explain it as you are talking it is fleeting the words just you can’t think of them quick enough to explain what is disappearing right beneath your feet like the world is just that whole is just fading by the second even though your mind a narrow 10 minutes it was an entire universe because you don’t let your looking at other lucid dreams were you in the dream of drew on the go crazy I am shying weird in a dream as I am in real life and not some cooled and just the same as me and I don’t think it doesn’t make me I’m not aware of it because it’s real because it is a reality otherwise you just wake up every night and go the things men with ice cream cones as bodies this is preposterous and can dream any more and stupid move onto the next one you don’t you’re in there talking to the ice cream up and I’m interested in how just that moment that moment been like can’t even explain can’t can’t can’t explain I can’t deny I say that a lot because I think things are fantastical and the minute I guess a lot of people do maybe they can explain things that may I can’t explain things and it drives me crazy drives me crazy on a day-to-day basis having this calculus because I can’t get my head round things and confusion is something that just will go I will talk and talk and talk and talk if I can’t explain something because I have to explain I have to understand it feel should be very intimate with percentages should – that should be coded into me these things and it annoys me when I can’t get to grips with things because I could pick a piano and I could learn the piano I will never be a great pianist but I could learn it and I would be happy with like pickled geography book history book I could learn things when you give me something I cannot do it drives me crazy or I can explain it can’t understand it, articulate that is so annoying and that’s what I want so what I am looking at articulate things that was how it started that sort of just what the dead brain that’s what I thought about first and then I thought about reality and fantasy however the tension between the two have fantasies seeping into reality is a trend more than anything quite quite like to analyse stores with marketing ploys and and sales techniques and adverts editorials posters fashion a notice a few fashion magazines especially more obscure ones not like broken up inner ones I’ve seen in special shops is this whole thing about fantasy and it’s not even just like a little nod to its it’s like it seems to be half halfling where they more fantastically neon and alien then the more down-to-earth and you know human the bigger the contrast and I notice that there was one about fantasy and futuristic maybe futuristic everybody futuristic is a stupid word because a lot of the time you look at things and you think it’s futuristic is made in the 60s and that’s a stupid word we all think it’s kind of a guest as alien it’s like something that is different in new and unusual and maybe more man-made and keeps away from traditional materials and and the colours there’s a lot of iridescence and foil and write luminous colours neon is quite in abundant lot play on texture and things that will show minimalism within Texas alike shine and yeah minimalism for this definitely an element of don’t know the hard hardness is sequins are tossed a plastic and there’s lots of plastic will be rubber and the mixture sort of textures as well as those it’s a little bit like whenever you see anything and what tank girl or whatever about an apocalyptic Apple apocalyptic sort of world post apocalyptic world there’s always a mixture of text because it’s like the found things and the things that we’ve made into clothes and they have to be revolutiion all street style in the soil and utilitarian street style has to be tough for the environment has to be comfortable and appropriate and appearance a secondary utility is primary and it sucking ablution from that and I guess the future means that things are shining silver because before that way forever in ever since we’ve had like pop culture the future has been chrome and white 50s comic book space robot style so yeah there’s a lot of + and a magazine at the moment and has an editorial in it and its it’s called fever dreams which I found really interesting like that was the most that’s why sofas are just the one that’s those words that is just if I could just paint those words into, just get those words that sentence meaning I just translated into a different different I don’t know different methods are different different frame around it but exactly what how I feel about this particular subject and it sort of I’ve been struggling and hello it’s another is another sort of narcissistic introverted book on the work I’ve been having trouble with sleep and I keep dreaming one wake and unfinished sentences because I’ll link and have a dream and all been market stalls selling oranges and finish a sentence with oranges and wine just in bed talking to somebody and so it’s really weird like when you are in that state you grip on reality is looser for your perception of reality and the mix quite easily and I can imagine being in that state for a prolonged period of time I think you would paint some pretty amazing work in your head that you can achieve a lot even if it wasn’t real you know I think you could really benefit from that somehow and and the quite blurry images because of the fever and it’s quite stark gritty boring stuff you know the school run or whatever thechild in the back of the car she is in an office slumped over she looks tired shirt worn down shots hard glass brutalism and she’s wearing like dreamy things she’s wearing sequins bright colourful the lots of light in all the images and is a lot of reflection and sparkle you know in the lens and it captures a lot of serial ethereal sort of feeling something that balls the grit and above the reality but it’s a mixed grey and the retention nervous tension with camera angles the sort of she’s at awkward angles which fashion models often are cameras like the one quite low down in looking better and she looks taut and strained and she has a strained taut carrier bag and this is what I felt -cool because you just don’t see the sky thing unit editorials and shopping in it and the shopping as I can milky colour and it’s been strained by the things inside it heavily and you can see the bag stretched and is a tension between that the tension in that’s attention with the beautiful lovely in sort of the word something that’s quite joyful and frivilous but not you know it sort of she’s next to the fabrics that she’s wearing colour and happy and not in it you wouldn’t think that they have the woman were those things woman in the image with her life were those things and its it’s a story within itself which I suppose all editorials that successful ones are what I just found it really beautiful and very fitting what I will look at and is looking and the third part gas to this is the framing ID and very interested in reframing something in a different way of framing it again and replicating that frame the method and just see what happens maybe is not a play activity just to see how that X how that expands and develops tools and uninterested in repetition am interested in doing things over and over and over again to forget weaker or seeing if there truth is revealed by actually innocent the idea the concept actually becomes stronger and through it. Repeat repeat repeat repeat as photocopies and past that now I’m interested in I didn’t photocopy though did a scan of some rope in a six quite close to the bling because accurately enough and are just as it is interesting that if I saw because of the scan is quite 3D scan of realistic which is scan some rope but if I saw that I think it was real so I was interested in kicking about in the studio and taking a picture of something that is in the studio at many pencil case or blind just an individual blind or maybe something out the window and sticking it on the window and sticking it were pen sill case might be taking a photo that and then looking at that image and seeing whether you can tell those things aren’t really there maybe having a complete image which is just composites of all the things that were in the image originally and they’ve all been replaced circa go into room and I could replace all the thick take a picture I could zoom in on all those things and then I could take I could get them printed so they were the exact size of the article and obviously things can be really blurry but that’s okay because if I stand at the same point wrote the original photograph then surely everything would only be very slightly blurry that’s just the thing I just thought of now rely on what I’ve been thinking of what is not consciously the most important thing with the framing thing of note is another trend of backstage fashion events do tend to take photographs of make-up artists and stylists and things like that working on them but I’ve noticed lately maybe it’s because of this whole, new West Kim Kardashian world where everyone has to know she’s definitely the whole tribe is propelled things like Instagram and the whole selfie world where you it’s acceptable to take picture of your face and and sharer and I thought and wanted to go into Sotheby’s for a while I feel it’s probably an oversaturated area but it’s very interesting when you see people on the train and the take off account and they put lipstick on the take the hair down and ignore the screaming children and they take pictures of themselves and then they put her back in a born the put the code back on what the lipstick of anonymity to the child when it’s absolutely in our wet red mess and the gut that the kid take care of it and you think I should have took a picture of uniting which of you now that’s the selfie not the one you are not not that that’s not selfie I know everybody holds a mirror up to these things and everyone’s got an idea everyone knows that there is no such thing selfie saw a self curated gallery of our own faces which yet is fine for actually taking a picture of someone who is just about to take selfie a curse on site more at a palatable version of the fantasy futurism lysine within fashion and it’s your nautical parenting that’s interesting how that sort of developed and absolutely bastardised by everybody you go I’m going to pound shop and pick up about 20 things with unicorns on them or a mean even sequins all apparently like unicorn Scales this                                   just so it’s something I want to work with                                       it’s the fanzine it’s a                              reality                 it’s                the                   confusion                even with all this does make sense but I thought                        I just can’t                      there             is             a                 sentence          that               I                     can                            explain I t I n m a y b e                       that will                 be the next thing I could do is to work out how to explain this within a sentence and doesn’t have to be an explanation it can just explain it                            doesn’t have to be a                         logical explanation you know a literal explanation because that might not be effective within a                     sentence     that     might     not               work    it     may     require     paragraph     whereas     if     I     can     explain     it     within          one     sentence     it                   may     just     be     colours     or                                       objectives     it                      could     be     anything     it’s     gonna     have     to     be         something     a     little     bit     more            and     I     don’t     know     emotional                 and                sensory     than               a                             description